MANCOUCH fightszszsz!!!!

So, I got hired to write for this blog called "MANCOUCH."

This is part of the "Xanga" network of blogs, and let me say, I'm glad that I get some minimal exposure out of it, because OH MY GOD the people that actually read and comment...some are great/fine/whatever, but some (like all internet whateverrsss) are INSANE.

So I had kind of a great time yesterday torturing this one idiot. Here is the exchange:

(1) I wrote a post about something dumb, like panties.

(2) He comments: Why the bloody fuck do WOMEN keep posting on MANCOUCH? What the fuck is wrong with the godsdammed world? Do you have a cock 'n balls? No? Go away.

Me: @Revolutionary22@xanga - heh. is this annoying? right now? is this annoying to you? what about this? also: shut up.

Him: Really? Are you ten godsdamned years old? Jesus H. tittyfucking Christ.

Him: Ok a) I understand the 'logic' behind it. You want men's opinions on something. Great. That's fine. Ask your man friends. But coming to Mancouch and making a post is like crashing guys night just because you felt like tagging along. Seriously. 2) If any man posts on lovelyish they have officially given up their

sac 'n stick. Period case fucking closed. Unless it's to do some sort of awesomely dick move like ask how many of the chicks there would fellate him or something.

SOME OTHER DUDE: Women or girls will go wherever they want, there is no sacred territory for men-only anymore. That was over in the 1960's. You want more man-input and discussion on Mancouch? Write man-posts, something that (most) women are not interested in, or have no clue about. Best waterless handcleaner, Go-jo or Goop? What brand of tools work best for you, S-K, Snap-on, or Craftsman? What do you like better, a TIG welder or a MIG welder, and why? Which caliber of high power rifle works best for you on which game animal? For deer, is .243 Roberts too light? .270 just right? .308 overkill? Where do "old" cartridges fall? The 30-30 Winchester has probably put down more whitetails than all the other cartridges combined....

You see, when men post men-related topics for discussion, the girls will drift away. There will be a few hard-core ones that hang on, either insisting they are one of the boys, or being here just to irritate everyone. You will always have that.

Now what color panties are you wearing?

Me: heheheheh. this hate parade is hilarious! I love you guys! And yeah seriously. aint this 'MERICUH? you don't HAVE to read what women write (if you only like, dicks, thats fine...you just can't marry another dude in some states...yet). You don't like that I'm posting? Talk to the EDITOR OF THE BLOG, who selects what to post! Clearly he saw this more fit than whatever else you illiterate girl hating monkeys are pounding out in-between vigorous internet-related masturbation sessions. I wrote about PANTIES. I'm a f*cking social scientist...I have TWO degrees, I'm almost a doctor. You want to know what I REALLY think? No, you want to read about boobs and panties. Because this is Mancouch (And that story actually happened).

I mean, for F*CK sake, women writers have been MORE than scarce since the beginning of time (we're oppressed, get it?). You want a female writer that will REALLY piss you off? Try Aphra Behn, the very first published female playwright. You sound just like her backwards-ass, idiot critics who were all "uhh...SHE HAS A VAGINA...SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT."
So, yeah. Shut up. I get it, you hate women. You want somewhere that only men write? Try a gay porn site (although I'm almost POSITIVE that there are female ghost-writers for those). Do you want me to change my profile picture and sign everything "Steve?" Will that make you more comfortable than knowing that MAYBE (just maybe) I can write a f*ck-ton better than you can?
Ugh. I finally understand George Sand.

Me: I then posted the following entry in my MANCOUCH weblog:

Let's Get Girls Off! (of Mancouch)

Dear ManCouch:

Let's Get these goldern CHICKS AWAY FROM US!! I mean, it's called MANCOUCH, not "stupid girls write about stupid girl stuffs!" I mean it's always "waah waah my period!" or "boys are meaaannnn!" I don't want to read about what bitches have to say! I want cocks! Hard, throbbing cocks! I mean, I'm not gay or nothin' but I mean, when will ladies learn how to READ?! They are so bad at math too.

Here is what we should do:
(1) Filter out all the bitches that have already succubus'd there way on here (we stalk them, and then just old fashioned "R" and "K" them. If the police come, we'll just be all "but...MANCOUCH. MAN.COUCH." And because all good authority figures are dudes, they will be all HIGH FIVES! BEERS!

(2) Stop all little whiny c*nts from entering the site by having like a "are you a guy? Do you have a cock and balls?" question before you login. That way, chicks will be like "ew! gross! no!"

(3) If you try to set up a mancouch blog and your name isn't a real guy name like "BULLET" or "SKULLF*CK STEEL," than you will be PERMANENTLY blocked. F*CK. Sometimes I really wish we lived in one uh those bad ass dictatorships, where it's all dudes in charge.

Man, I f*cking LOVE GUYSSSS!!!!

your bro,
FraternityRap3isAWESOME

p.s. girls aren't funny.

Him: (In a message to me) I want you to look at the word Mancouch. Just take a good gander at it. Notice that it specifically says MAN in the title. Then I want you to find a dictionary. It's not hard, there's plenty online. Once you've gotten to that point I want you look up the definition for the word "man". I want you to notice that the first definition says "an adult MALE person, as distinguished from a boy or woman"(Dictionary.com). Then I want you to take off all your clothes and go stand in front of a mirror and give yourself a good, hard look in that mirror. I want you to make sure, I mean absolutely certain, that you have a cunt and not a cock and balls. And then I want you to get therapy because you have some sort of gender identity issue since you keep posting on MANcouch when you're a fucking WOMAN.

Me: (in a message back) i just like that argument that you, "revolutionary22" made (because it's really revolutionary to say "WOMEN NEED TO SHUT UP"):" if you aren't a man, go away."

So like, wait. Can I be a guy dressed as a girl with a girl's sn but pretending to be a guy pretending to be a girl pretending to be a guy and still post? What if I have BOTH a penis AND a vagina? You are fucking retarded.

Also: I AM a shrink, fuck-nut! You sound like you are a totally repressed gay dude. Kill yourself.

--Leah

Me: (in another message back, immediately following the previous) Also, also, also:

Since you got aaaalll "scientific" by quoting DICTIONARY.COM (heh), let's talk operational definitions.

Now, according to you, "Mancouch" (a site that xanga hired me to edit and write for--which by the way I am having a total blast doing, I think my voice lines up perfectly with what a lot of readers are looking for), is for Men and MEN ONLY because it has the word "MAN" in the title.

...do you not see how stupid that is? Ok anyway, so since you've decided to run with that, I'll address it. You really don't think that advice or stories from cute girls & women are things that men are interested in? Do you have a developmental delay?

I love writing for this blog. If you haven't noticed, LITERALLY EVERY post I've submitted to the site gets published immediately. Now hm...maybe...what I have to say is actually more in line with what the editors are thinking the site should be. Want to know how I know that? BECAUSE I KNOW THE EDITORS.

Just because I'm female, doesn't mean I have nothing to add to this site.

He has not responded since.

However, in response to the original post:

SOME OTHER DUDE: (the same some other dude) 'twas just a remark in humor...